The Dominion Of My Vanities


TR, beautiful sentiments that seem still in some way mourning something. Something you cannot quite touch.
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by n. lynn (PM , CC ) on Saturday June 30, 2007 @ 3:36 PM   (del)

Hello, W. New York state. Hi, n.lynn.,

I just woke up, Three-thirty-ish… and sat down at the computer for a second to check on the ‘sit” in the middle east, and the terror watch and all my sports scores. Only the very real and wonderful stuff of summer, and also blogstream. I was reading blogs, I’ve never read. Thought about taking over an abandoned blog and just posting in comments, then I came across your comment on Janey Godley’s site and I was reminded,that you had commented on my last post, Thank you.

You are very accurate, when you say, that the something with the someone is not settled, and it apears that this is a process and I will come to a place one day, when I am resolved and into a state of mind, where final acceptance and relief is found.

It is the circuitry of relationships, that sometimes finds me:lost in my foundness and found in my lostness. All in the same bundle. It is a journey, I make everytime I write, because there is never a plan, when
I begin. It may just be circular thinking. Or lack of control. I am a grown up, already. I’m thinking about writing comedy, on here. I wouldn’t have to be funny. I am already not funny, but I would call it my comedy blog.

I work with devlopmentally disabled adults at a large state institutuion. So like woody allen in any movie he’s acted in. I am neurotic, I (saw a bit of ‘Annie Hall’ today). What a scream_my wife was not digging it. She’s been sick, very, for three or four days. I’ve been her helper. Good boy.

So not being woody, I can’t say that even relates, but he does do his schtich in the moment. (I keep pushing these words forward)Intitutionalized and cauterized or where they came from
(I obviously typed them). Don’t know where they fit. I’m off the W.A. thing.

N. lynn. Janey Godley, yuh! It is a very funny journal, and I would like to converse and blog with her, but she’s just not there. You should check her out on Youtube and other sites.
Very funny,Glaswegian.

Brings me back to::How have you been, and the family?
This is definitely not like John’s where I see you all the time. I like your wry statements. I know your family. I like the way you share your life. Back to John, He’s a kick. You ladies keep him in his good temper.

Blogging. It is a joy and I do go on. Didn’t Glastonbury sound like fun? Mud.
I follow a lot of the going on’s from England. My mum’s from London, and all the relatives, that are left (who I don’t communicate with),’cept for my Uncle John,65, who spent the day with my son, when his HAL cruise liner, stopped in Dover, en route to Scandinavian
cruising. He plays guitar in the band. JoHn is a retired teacher and a councilman for a London suburb(towncouncil). Two kids there. One, a chef, and the other, a park ranger in Hyde Park. Divorced. Lovely man with a pot belly from the photos I saw.

I need to get in touch with him. I do. So, I am sensitive to my experience here. It can lay you bare. I think it is a vast improvement over journaling and that is what I use it for. One reader is better than none. I used to write every night or often enough, Then I stopped (dead) for fifteen years. That I had too much to ever do anything with was no matter. As soon as one relationship would die I would just throw it away, but did I? some parts remained. I have put some of them up here. It never rose above the state, you sense. Unresolved.

Am I better now? I mean right now. If you don’t read this, That is okay, my dear. I should go back to bed, or stay up . It is just after four in the morning. Don’t want to miss, ‘Meet the Press’ at six.

Good boy, Eat a bowl of cereal and read the paper(online).

n.lynn, Is that Nancy? That’s my mom’s name. Hey! I am goofy, but we have shared some goodtimes here. Even if not always in touch. I just remembered, when you and OY were working on a plan. I dug it. It takes great energy to get things done, especially through this medium. I don’t task well. I just follow the bouncing ball. Not really.
Enjoy your summer, and the 4th. Bye for now.TR

P.S. If you find a chunk, where something is missing. I just found it and erased it.
Point is: I want to be a better me, even at this late date, so I will blog on. and I love the commenting and returning. It’s all good.
I enjoy having integrity. There is so much crap out here and also so much good.Cheerio!

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by trust the rust (PM , CC ) on Sunday July 1, 2007 @ 7:34 AM   (del)

what a very lovely piece…with no holds barred…how hard it is
to be at an age where hurts have taken place over so many past loves, that you can get past this and still love unconditionally and not be afraid of rejection….

you just open your heart and let it flow….that’s true cosmic energy…true art…nothing contrived….only felt…

i was watching a very old movie yesterday about a little boy in a Dutch village with this grandfather who was wanting to be the next Ruebens…..they had a dog and he delivered milk and painted and drew on the side and his mentor says, “you can’t just draw…you must Feel..feel…what you see”….

i love that…have a wonderful morning 

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by purplefly (PM , CC ) on Sunday July 1, 2007 @ 8:51 AM   (del)

Dear Purps, You are a love. What a touching moment… to read__ what you said about this moment… in this spot behind the cyber wall of noise. We are a peaceful center, when we can find our way to the side of our countrymen.

We who feel, who sense, who love unconditionally have reserves, that allow us to hold a lot of the hurt and the pain, but I think we also are learning to heal ourselves, To Live, Let go, and let God.

There is a purposeful state of being in such a responsive state. It is not an easy way. It is the responsible way,… and so we have our soul’s depth and our hearts to hold the weight. We lift together. Naturally. We acknowledge and breathe and know_our state_ is our place. Purposeful feeling, as in your story of the artist’s advice to the boy. “You must feel, what you see,”

That is our heart ‘being’, knowing the way of the work.
Corresponding with the elements in play and delivering the work.
Loving the doing. Knowing where you are going. Being present.

I wish this wsre perfectly stated, but because I am imperfect, It is the best, I am… of the moment. So you see, Purps, I care and that is okay, and I am happy to be here, even when I am not my happiest_for whatever reason. It is all going by the direction of desiring the best that I can feel about the outcome of what I do. I try and do love through my truly believing way of being here now.

We are correspondents in the art of love. We are a return to another age, when there were questions about the future. We are jongleurs,
of a sort. Without pay we are becoming free to roam and to remain. Which ever way we must go to maitain balance. Not there yet. but I believe we will be ready.

Got to go, I am just doing my thing. thanks again. You always touch me with your sense of tone and the placement of your craft. The art of you, is irrefutable. Great days,TR

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by trust the rust (PM , CC ) on Sunday July 1, 2007 @ 7:28 PM   (del)

TR, guess you couldn’t sleep…3am, I quite often wake and just toss and turn. Thanks for all your thoughts. I didn’t know you are British! I thought you were just a NW guy. Hope the wife is feeling better. Haver her watch Annie Hall when she feels good, she might see it in a new light.

We’re all up early today to say goodbye to husband and my two teens who left for a whirlwind trip to Asia and CA, visiting our old homes, checking out colleges and seeing the Great Wall in Bejing, going to vineyards, as well. I am not with them, as is my other daughter, who is also not feeling well. We have been to various doctors and through all kinds of testing, but have not been able to figure out her malaise. Home we stay.


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by n. lynn (PM , CC ) on Monday July 2, 2007 @ 7:12 AM   (del)

You are what the life giving force is all about TR. You are filled with acceptance of everyone….spread that around in your travels, okay? May your path continued to be filled with beauty and sunshine.

The HOTTEST ORIGINAL graphics on the NET at Sparkletags.Com

Loveya, CM  

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by Celtic Mist (PM , CC ) on Monday July 2, 2007 @ 10:05 AM   (del)

Hi!, n.lynn,

Just checking in before bed( crashing) and found your note. Good to see you. I will be brief. I am not British, but I often talk, as though I am. My mum is from London. My dad from Quebec, They married in D.C. after the war. I grew up around there and in Virginia. After leaving home… all over the country. Back and forth for a long time. Now here.

Sure sounds like a great family adventure. Sorry you and daughter had to stay home. I’ll add my prayers for answers and we know that works. God is good. Loved hearing from you. Thank you again. TR

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by trust the rust (PM , CC ) on Tuesday July 3, 2007 @ 2:59 AM   (del)

Dear Celtic Mist,
You are a dream. What a sweet thing to say. I think of you the same, so there,…. we will team up and heal the planet of it’s pain, one heart at a time. What could be better than that. Dare to believe. I can see it now . The new feelings of love, as a fact, are sweeping the nation and what a wonder. Life is changing for the better. Noone can explain the unexplainable. This small beginning is gaining momentum and as the ball rolls forward,….Everyone is taking up the holding of
love as a purpose worth living. I just lost the whole back end of this.
Maybe I went over board and the keyboard ‘mechanics’ took it away.
Who knows? I can’t reconstruct. It was , no matter. Really I just wanted to acknowledge you and your conributions, which are many tto many people and your own family and we must never forget to take care of our families, even as we gain and acquire dimensions of worldly aspiration.
We all want the same thing. A world that works without the pain of hurting each other for falsehoods and gain. I will go now into the mist and remember tomorrow. It is going to be hot here. The garden is loving it. The fire works people (in the neighborhood) are making such a reacket…these days…it just ended about ten thirty.
More than a minor irritation.

Lady Mist, I am out. Take care of you. Always love headed your way,TR

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by trust the rust (PM , CC ) on Tuesday July 3, 2007 @ 3:19 AM   (del)

Wow !! That poem gave me “goose bumps”. it’s incredibly beautiful and I could relate to that love. One that I once had and hope to have again. Great post…. |<   <<   >>   >|

by ValAnne (PM , CC ) on Saturday July 7, 2007 @ 1:44 PM   (del)

TR, write some more…please.
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by n. lynn (PM , CC ) on Saturday July 7, 2007 @ 10:34 PM   (del)

I like your spirit ValAnne. I hope that you are getting through this heat and that you are feeling good about life. I visited today and I can see that you sorting out the lows and getting positive.

To think that way will bring back your hopes and dreams. I care and I am here, if you want a chat. I don’t know. Just keep cool… and the best of life will soon come to your beautiful heart. Take care.TR

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by trust the rust (PM , CC ) on Tuesday July 10, 2007 @ 1:39 AM   (del)

n. lynn, Thank you for your sweet thoughts and that you want me to write more is very,very nice.
I will try to get through these hots days and get back to writing something. I sure am glad, that I finally began to be this person, who just writes as me_…To be the person…He loves being_even as the newness of it, becomes what it is becoming, because it is the source of my existence now. My secret place is developing and becoming more and more natural,.. Everyday. Even when I am not writing.

… and I now exist in a world, where I think about the people…I write back to… even when we have never met…You are all so real to this guy in the world in a state at the other side of here and when we are doing this it just doesn’t make sense, but we are developing and being real for the best of reasons, and it’s only getting better, so stay cool if you can. I know it is screaming hot there. Always the best. Cool waters flowing over all the hot. Be safe.TR

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by trust the rust (PM , CC ) on Tuesday July 10, 2007 @ 1:50 AM   (del)

TR, glad you have come to some considerable insights. It sometimes takes a lot of work and some let downs, but it’s always amazing to pop up from the depths and breathe again, treading water can be a nice place in this crazy world.
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by n. lynn (PM , CC ) on Tuesday July 10, 2007 @ 10:07 AM   (del)

Gets better everytime I read it T.R.! Thanks!

The HOTTEST ORIGINAL graphics on the NET at Sparkletags.Com

Loveya, Celtic Mist 

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by Celtic Mist (PM , CC ) on Wednesday July 11, 2007 @ 12:18 PM   (del)


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