No.44_ Last Things~ Begin Again

The last thing I say- That sounds Final

Dropping in, from behind the curtain of low hills, he surmises the terrain and realizes there are no more than three people on the hill below him. He has just silently entered the kill zone. The opposing sides’ combatants are just now moving out from their encampment. He sees that they have rucksacks and light field weapons. They wear the common patrol attire of the insurgency, which lingers in the hills around the capital. Hit and miss, their daily attacks have an ever wearing affect on the general discourse of life in this country that has come a million miles in the preceding years. The devolution of the effect of their futile attempt to spiral this new and reborn nation into chaos has fallen from the front pages, but the reality of nightly mortar attacks, and roadside bombings take their toll. I am an observer of a raw edge of the world, that has spun out of control for years. I see myself here in a remote way. My disconnect is that I am not invested in the outcome. I am only putting in my time at this point. I have sixty-two days to go and I’ll be flying out to Kentucky on the first plane out. They’re moving now … down the wash between two sparsely covered hills. There is not a lot of cover. They probably have done this many times before. Their weapons are cloaked under their loose fitting native garb. They could be farmers or tradesmen or they could be soldiers, which is what they are. There determination is not self evident by their manner, but their seriousness is. They most likely have a planned attack. At a certain juncture they will be meeting up with identical guardians of the international insanity, that has become the jihadist mentality… The unique freedom to be crazy, insane, and wrong at the same time. This country was ripped from their hands and they will do anything to get it back. Somewhere out there… they must have a savior, who would sit them down and tell them that this is the wrong way and that it must end, but sadely, they are hell bent for leather to treat us to their idea of heaven. Sadely for these three they are soon to be on their way to: There are a few options here; I could write of the obvious, but that would leave no room for character development. I, in actual fact, have never written such a piece before . It obviously came out of nowhere, but did it. I think, we all think about the what if’s of the terror war. Why can’t we come to some real understanding. Is their compromise in a war of civilizations? Why has it come to this? As the world is brought together by technology – It is being torn apart by the divisions of race and sect and class and religion and politics and political theory and economic war and having and having not and just a general lack of respect and regard for history. We’ve been here before. Can’t the hate just finally end. In the inimitable words of Rodney King “circa- LA riots”- can’t we all just get along”. That’s sugar coating= the result of the thesis. There has got to be a way to make this all go away. I didn’t spend my whole life spending: time and effort working for nothing. It never was about money. It has always been about love Now I know that is why I am here. God’s little love man- the guy with the big heart. This of course is merely an exercise and a reveal into the fabulous and fractional world of the great Rusty. All in fun -I went with it …on another dry well- tonight. I write first time- every time… just what the doctor ordered and now it is time for me to say goodnight, because I lost a chunk of my closing. I have to wonder, who is helping me… to edit. Technology is a beautiful thing. Trust the Rust cya
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Friday February 10, 2006


 Sincerely a true blue onion eater and a different goose otherwise

Cocoa-puffs and cranberries and certain clues along the way. I am in a state of certain extraction and not about to sweep the bed under the rug. I have a path worn and true blank stare and a sublime un-used sense of blame. My beating heart is sticky with blood and the dream of that new life is a long way …away right now. I have not secured the premise of my time to the duty of being completely there. Which is the here-now question of the day. Acting on these inactions I find my self giving sway to the many avoidances availible every moment of the Hours in a day. Especially now, when even… here now… I have a hardly enough connection… to even know I exist, except for my sense of smell…brownies-just made by me and the interference of listening to the ages olde hobby of sharing the Thursday evening super-sonic throw weight of another issue of the mega dwarf [ER]…the show my wife and I have watched for the years we have been married. I think we have been married for about the same number of years as it has existed. It is retail trauma and pain dressed in a pretty dress and blended with latest cultural attractions…. It purveys the lifestyle of the upwardly mobile conscientious cold-pie of the internet age. we are the gadget fixtures and our pain is yours, because you haven’t checked out enough from your personal library. I want someone to just smear me for being the dolt, that brought nothing to this stage and carries on as if any of this leads toward the door of committment. I have been reading like a maniac lately and all of the choices from above have been availible forever, but I had to go there to get here and now that I am back at the beginning I see some daylight. I will evict for now a bit of the old blue star day that is the music of our life. I am forever in every thought and theme of everyday and my love is always for the weight that we carry together and without which our virtue would be lost in a lobe of the ear of God, but because God listens constantly we are always availible to hear the words and directions of our path as the lead lays down the way. I will sleep now, because I am directly in the way of progress and it ircks me that I don’t secure the necessary definition to succeed at the composition of thought forms that have always been in the pleura of my veins, but I have to recognize… that I am freeing up the reality of the way that is unique to me. The Rust is Trusty.cya
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Friday December 30, 2005


 Enlightenment Now!

There is a simple reason for this plea. It is that I have been having the trials and tribulations of a young cub and I want to grow up – soon. Right now, I am enjoying the delight my daughter is having talking about her friends. Her mom is delighted too, in the sense that she is tolerating this youngster’s … goofiness. It’s gidiness -excited- youthful splender. Hope you got that. She is being annoying in a delightful way, but there is plenty of room for allowance and these evenings without the annoying tube are what is best in the world. We had gone to see her dance workshop’s ‘winter intensive’ program. It was at the end of four days of training and dance comradery and she is very proud of what they have accomplished. It is the beginning of her desire to be a member of the company, which is ‘the committment’. She wants to talk to her mom about being in company, but mom needs to step outside for the burning of a small glowing object, that delights her receptors- no end. Was that too insensitive? I feel that the criminalization of smoking in Washington state has gone too far. Where I work – there are signs by every door telling everyone ‘to scowl’ at anyone who is smoking within 25 feet of the door. Reporting the offenders has not been discussed yet, but I am thinking about posting ‘no sex offenders allowed’ signs, here and there, as a form of protest against the state’s strident form of ‘criminalizing’ this the least of criminal offenses. Once they get their facial identification cameras up everywhere, you’ll just get your ticket in the mail. I smoked for a time and I quit, but I just know for some- this is a huge stressful time, and we are all going to go through it together. The beast is political correctness. Just like our poisoned election of last year. One piece of crap flows into the next. Just get in line. It will be as hard to swallow, as the swollen gas and real estate prices, and it will go down about as well as the thematic discourse of the propaganda driven gear queers of the [movie]”crippled crack moutain” and there continuing assault on the sensitivities and sensibilities of an already stressed out generation. Keep your wanker in your pants and quit driving your paid to be gay agenda down every Tom, Dick and Harry. Get out of my face. Must-we?… the insensitive majority allow the disproportionate few to set the agenda and the climate of our day- I don’t think so …. By allowing these thugs and criminals to take our personhood and rub it in the dirt,… until we cry and call our lawyers, so that they can continue to get the sustenance that feeds their crazed demand for more rot and ruin to this great land. Be still my heart – We are a great questioning mass of humanity. And in the sense, that the body politic is starting to rise up in the realization that this too is a part of the clash of civilizations… Meaning that the social terrorism of destruction and reverberation… is building a destructive current onto the underlying themes of our lives. Do?… We run in fear- from ourselves. If? … We don’t deal with the issues of the now “pro forma” ethical question of our time. When? Do we, each, take responsibility every day for the product and the projects of our lives, and are we beholden to our God for sustenance and verity in our rendition of the the one truth. That? God is love and the truth will set you free. Let me see . I’ve thrown in everything, but the kitchen sink. I am obviously not a “professional” social commentator, but that is where my wheel has brought me this night and in the spirit of having no fear… It will be okay and for all of the thousands, who have no idea “what or where” this is – even though, you are here, then may I wish you happy and healthy and holy thoughts in the hours and days ahead. We are always in the time of God’s love. And God does love us, even though we don’t always realize or appreciate God’s patience. It is certain fortitude and the continuing flow of God’s love that informs every righteous choice we make. Go now and make peace with your life and keep up appearances and return always to what you know to be the truth. That is the end of this for now or should I delete this as I have the last few nights. If it gets posted . It doesn’t mean it’s good-Just lucky. So be it+ Whatever happens. Go in peace. Trust the Rust,cya

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