No.40._ What Ends this Day?

In Lieu of A Comment…Written…To Find… Not Accepting,Presently…A Reason to Believe In You.

Just to let you know.
I am having my own discourse.
It takes me places.
Am I grounded, today?

For the most part,
I’m doing my job.
Getting on with It.

Finding it hard to write,
but I care enough to say,
How are you?

Where is this going?
I only care to recognize u.
Your strength to be strong.

You are doing things here,
That you must recognize….
Will change you
And change us.

We are unique beings.
Trying to stay __real__ in this world.
Long enough for the change…
That is surely coming.

I know nothing as fact.
Only resonating with spirit. God’s love.
Is that truth?
I want that you would and will remain strong.
To speak your truth.

In love…it is me.
Look at my blog.
I struggle and try to survive everyday.
We must remain here and be strong.

So there… Who dat?
Me am all here right now.
Me love the way…me comment.
Is pretty much the real me.

All that I am …is real.
As are you.
Would you consent to be…
one of my favorite blogs?


Posted by trust the rust at 1:35 AM – 1 Comment   Add a Comment   
Saturday October 7, 2006
 I Didn’t Know That Times New Roman Is Here-(speaking of font)

What a difference a day makes, and as I advance into the world of text and content, I will learn where the bells and whistles are… And then I will get to have the tools I’ll need to perform the magic, that is me. “So what!,” you say… and while I agree in principal, the true complexity of coming from the stone ages to the modern- Quadratic of Being in the Present -with it’s worthful art of computer dimension… I am not there yet, but I am driving the road and it will yield all of it’s wealth to me once I have encountered the drift of where it is I want to go. It is an organic origin of thought and scheme, which I pursue. I am overhearing my wife’s Friday night cop/court drama and hearing my daughter’s phone voice, whilst I am wearing headphones …inorder to listen to music on Jamie Cullum’s web site.  now eyes closed-sleep deprived.

What do I caLL WHAT IT IS i AM BECOMING?  iF i WERE GOING BACK TO SCHOOL TO BECOME SOMEBODY… i WOULD GUESS THAT i MIGHT TRY TO Be AN INTERNATIoNAL pSyCHIatrist. I am not rewriting that mistake. It was meant to look exactly like that … Just so, that… I would scare off anyone, who might think I had answers to the text and tone of this life. I am in truth …a world thinker … I think constantly about the worth and wealth of the peoples and the ways of the earth. I am local to where I am, but my thoughts are with  -Our  Life- on this planet.

The obvious circumstance is the seemingly uncontrollable and  disabling intent to destroy all that is good and replace it with only the worst intentions of  the world’s least able, and least loving  inhabitants. The  Beautiful audacity of such violent daily deliveries of this thoughtless evil content is beyond the ken of the shell shocked world. We must mount the flow of love and concern into all factors of our intentions. We must all daily and constantly pray and praise our concern and discernment to the factors and factotums that can hopefully bring about an evolution of safety and circumstances that  begin to breed healing.  Okay, I am concerned. I don’t know that I have enough of a way with the words… that will be a part of healing of the Life that is our generally held concern for the future of our children.

Children of the future. We are already here and we are hiding away in the crevices and need to come forth and identify each other in meaningful ways that give us the courage to breath the breath of  our ancestors and be the whole coming of God’s plan to this earth. I am not knowing this … in true knowledge of absolute fact. I am intuitively saying …we each of us know… the way of being in  the world… the way we were meant to carry forth the plan and purpose of Love. Maybe I will have to abandon my simple life to be more  than I am now, but  then that would mean I am thinking I am more than I am. I know in truth, that I am only me and that this is just the way the cookie crumbles. I speak to myself in a language I don’t understand.  When it comes out like this I think I need help to protect my family from outcomes, that might perceive, what I am doing…is  a fake rendition of a fiction, that is a dis-ease.

In truth I think -the enemy  of real truth and hope and love- is getting a head start at a critical time in history and we must continue to fight the proliferation of violent means. I will never agree that the U.S.of A. pursues a demeaning end for other nations. It’s true concern is that after coming so far after the last great war, and then the so-called end of the Cold War…we find ourselves well into a new and diametrically opposed  confrontation to our safety and future exiistence. This Cancer is eating away at the very foundations of the moral turpitude of the West. And as we go down this road we are half and half about how to go about it. We … the media ,and the opposition and the politics are always about opposing the party in power and planning for the overthrow of our own plan. Let’s not defeat ourselves by our own pen.  We must pursue our safety with  a unified  heart  and mind.  All of our resources must pursue  the accomplished end  of …  “the end of war”.  It is possible.   Scientists pursue the end of cancer and other diseases – The diplomats and politicos of the world must pursue vigorously the end of violence and war as the answer. The placement of fear and threat as the most omnipresent evidence of their failure  is a certain  mark of their failure.

Good thing I call myself by  the name Trust the Rust, because that is all the time I have tonight.  Goodnight… I love listening to the bad of the local news, while playing with the keyboard…trying to make sense of my mind as I find it on this night …early in October,2006.

Posted by trust the rust at 2:25 AM – No Comments   Add a Comment   
Saturday September 16, 2006
 Deliberate Intention Leads to Consequential Results

See the brain is a deliberate instrument. My brain desires to inform me that I have somehow achieved a level of voidness, which allows me to step out of the way of my intention, to give me a circumstance of careless and carefree substance, which has lost it’s variable worble and weft. I knew, when I started, that you would understand. I’m attempting to shake off the non-serious losers, who don’t recognize a great mind on the loose. Eventually, the atmosphere will clear and my instrumentation will take over and I will get on with my new responsibilities, which, of course, come with achieving this new level of freedom. The Reversal Theory of Context and Control has it’s limitations. We who demand clarity with our morning paper are still searching for the less hurried existence of complacency. I have warmed somewhat to that which…”the-what”, I have yet to find.

So,… because I know that I am trying awfully hard to get a little detail and detachment in my prose,… because my cause is to be less than dandy, but more than usual, I have given over to the muse of lost adventure, because I am afterall an un-educated bloke, who wishes to soar with the eagles, but obviously has no hope of finding his humour vent in all of the pain of digressing from a day’s worth of all the usual stuff. I will in the end have to remain fictional, because in the real scheme of things… We, all of us, have nothing to fear, but fear itself.

My fear is mainly that I would give up in the face of adversity. That adversity for me would be to give up on myself and the improved nature of myself, just from writing-even badly at this point. I am by nature shy and not an attention seeker. I am competent in the simple daily missions of general living. I am a family man. I am lucky to have a family and we are generally doing very well. I am proud of all of them. I love my wife and I love our children, but I am truly not so happy with myself. I have spent much of my life disappearing into a void of nothingness. Pick one. I’ve tried them all. So … Here I am at this late date on a Friday night in September, a week before fall, thinking I might need to get busy. Even if noone ever reads this it is what I have on this night, at midnight, while everyone here sleeps. I need work and it is getting late in the game. What kind of legacy am I leaving? He existed. A big period. I end with …not if I can help it. This is a beginning and tomorrow I will begin again. But surely I need a plan. Good night and Good Luck. Trust the Rust cya

Posted by trust the rust at 2:56 AM – No Comments   Add a Comment   

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