No.30_ One World Song

Isdirection Collection Inspection _Memory’s Due Desire

I wish to extract a piece of a part_of a place_ that was a moment.
It happened_ at the time_to be the thing, that held me enthralled.
A summer fling with a connection_thrown_ that almost got lost. Relative wonder_ upon the service of life_
that at once___comes due…Certain_
To find a place for you… to be the one to decide.
This way or that way__What proof does it take?

Always coming back to you__believing I can be found.
I work the art of me__To locate the service of time.
The space in the current__The action of place__ takes Time.
I need to gather this deal__ to the wheels, that roll up under.
I am a friend to myself, and the way of this_ becoming.

The mechanical breath of review.
Seeking new questions to hold.
I have the answers of my own extrusion.
It arrives on the seed of memory’s host.
A day away from the first pacing__
I see a derivative deal in the column.

Left apart__I could walk away and leave the heart of attack.
I thought I was done __The courage to live the truth.
I was certainly done__I believed I was truly through.
I’m not making this up. It comes from the whole cloth of me.
In some ways I wonder _at this kind of review.
It is certainly strange for anyone to read.

What kind of life__does this guy see?

Well, maybe this is where it gets real. I had a thought about reviewing the summer past_ as a place, where I could begin.

Somehow, I was dissolved_
at the loss of your space_
and the toss that I spiraled_into__
All_ because I got scared.
It was life with a special design_
that became all of the sea and sky…
Thoughts could take you anywhere
_and it was sublime.

It is quite likely, that__
Noone can read this, and know what I mean_
Or if they do_ it is another version of the loss_ that be_came.
I went a bit crazy_for the words
_ that could not save my actions.
I was plainly dissolved, and surrendered.
I gave up more than I knew.

I took a short break and tried to re-establish_
a certain blink and dimension.
I was seeking something true__outside of my dimension.
My time warp was…
I was seeking love_in another’s space’s.
I had a real life_I had failed to appreciate.
You gave me back to that.

It was not an intentional act.
It was the natural flow of events.
I am here to attest. I have come a long way.
and the due diligence of certain persons__
has certainly shaped this request and answer.

This is the tale that begins. My wife had asked me to prepare my
vehicle for travel in June for a trip over the mountains and across the desert climate of Eastern Washington. A journey of 300 miles in each direction to Walla Walla, Wa., where our fourteen year old would be going to a summer dance intensive. Rich speak__ for_’ an expensive three weeks’.

Of course I did my best to remember, but the night before we were to leave, and it was the weekend__I still had not changed the antifreeze/coolant mix or determined…if I needed to change the thermostat, and that is the crux of this revelatory tale. I was
seeking certain ire, and I was most probably due, because I had been running off road for quite awhile, and no one seemed to care. Okay, It was about to get trying, but I was not worried.

Furthermore, I was somewhat prepared. I had purchased everything I needed to do every conceivable action, that I might have to do___’To git ‘ur done’. I had just wasted so much good will and now it was hell on earth and the woman in my life saying….”We are done.” This means we will be divorced. Soon.

I was not scared. I just needed to get it done in the late hours of Saturday July7th, the day before… we were to leave. Sunday, the 8th, four a.m….we’ll be pulling out of the driveway. Those were my marching orders. Oh! that’s easy. I had the weather and the light on my side, but things were taking longer than I thought they would. My march to success was taking big chunks of time. I was falling behind.

I declare to the world…I am not a mechanic, but I am a zen artist of the mechanical bent, and I have experienced at least as much success as I have had failure. I was ready. I proceeded forthrightly, and with all of the positive reinforcement I was getting/Not!…I was quite confident. As a matter of fact. My spirits never wavered. My wife only held the light, as the hours were waining, just before midnight. I was all _but through. Then it was done.

Two flushes with fast drives around (to heat the brew),draining,and connecting hoses and disconnecting hoses and continuing onward and upward… toward a clear running system,…I discovered and surmised that I should probably replace the thermostat. Of course…I knew that…I had known that…I was really thinking about not doing that…but I had no choice at ten-thirty p.m.. It became the only course I could take, and I had no book for this vehicle and the harness and straps and emission crap layed over the whole top of this machine and I was screwed or was I ?

Come on, oh! imaginary person (not ever named)except as… TR.
Divorce sounded so final.
My only hope was the magic tool box of the neighbor down the street.Mike loves tools. Long story short…He’s asleep.
His wife doesn’t want to wake him up. I go to their front door and knock…only low tv glow in sight. I am reminding her(now in person) of all the times my lovely wife had fixed their computer problems. And the many times her kids wait at our house…waiting for them to get home. Not so much lately, but there must be a goodwill bank. Working on wrapping this up. Stay for the close.

Quickly now, my wife,’M’, is home, and she likes to get on this machine.. to play Mah Jong…so as not to disappoint her…I will get off and say this is over. It is all, but. Needless to say, Mike’s magic tool box provided the way for me to succeed, beyond my wildest dreams.
I imagined such…a perfect tool, that could reach under, and around, and he knew what one that might be. The job was soon complete. By any calculus. This was love Supreme!

“Okay! I am out of here.” 12:30a.m….I was done. Everyone was abed,… I showered and slept and woke at 3:00a.m. We were already packed. I helped. Right! I did. Really.

When this cold icy dream of success was forged…
I believed I knew all was perfect, but I couldn’t be sure.
I tracked every thought and sound of this car, as we drove.
I was the only one awake.
‘M’ had so little faith.
We’re driving up and over the 5,300 ft. pass next to Mt Rainier.
Once we were up and over, I was purely ecstatic. At that point…
Just over the top, I woke my passengers to share in my delight. She said something about 103 degrees today. She would wait until then to give me an answer. I was already a success to me.

It would be a long time to wait, but…(by the end of the day)__ she granted me that accolade, You did it!
Even going it alone,… I was high on faith and the flame my heart breathed freely again. I was back and there was such happiness in my domain.
I was king of the world, but I was being responsible and humble.

This is so long__noone will read it. That is okay. We(I,me,mine) are developing the voice of the vein__ of_ ‘me’ being ‘me’.
I believe in what I do. I have confidence, and in those following weeks, while daughter was away__I gave all of my time__
to our marriage connection. We did nothing spectacular.
But certainly, there was a necessary adjustment.
I had been too much online. Away_ from the life of real.

We did things together again…Cooked and ate, and watched movies, and walked on trails, and went to the ocean, and relaxed on the set. It was an evening /sunrise, and the days of time, that hold the truth of__ who, we are yet to become.

It was a perfect time.
That is how_This is here,and that is all I wrote,
but I will be back_ to bring on the rest.
I want to thank you for your indulgence.
I am looking for the right path for me.
Good night and have a nice day!TR

Posted by trust the rust at 10:27 PM – 6 Comments   Add a Comment   
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Thursday September 13, 2007
 Window Maker Makes Light See_View Today.

Elegant Abstractions in the Sun.

Looking to view the wings_ This bird has flown.
Have I ever wondered more than now?
I am begun.
This is clearly ordained_ in my circumscribed way.
I am believing now_ on wonder.
Driven to order_ the reasons to believe.

I am ordered by my brain and heart to hold_ the way.
I am begun_ to be the second order of myself.
I believe_ I am growing daily_ in my true nature.
I was born__ and I came to grow__ out of nothingness.

The nature of this life is mind-filling,  hence the physical order.
The physical order of stages_wrought with wisdom’s domain.
Quietly accepting changes_ locating at parameter’s breadth.
I know,  because I trust and wait_ in degrees of attention.

Nothing too fast or too slow__ just right, comes_ the management.
Of acceptance…The truth lies within.
The noise without_encounters stillness.
The heart swells to hold the heat of light.
Chest_ strongly/ relaxed___ breathing light into darkness.

I am not a higher order of man. I am identifying a man’s truth.
Life in this ordinary fellow__ believes on the higher order of ordinary.
Having always known the way home, I lost, and fell, and found___ a way back.
It comes to me- as I describe this description of efforts flown.

I will myself to call on a higher order of things.
Within myself__I seek the one true God.
I seek not for myself, but for everyone.
I will this mission to be done.

I am not __I Am.
I am true, and I am here___ on this moment.
On the stage of life, where there is no going back.
I have an unconventional signature in my life. I am a unique being.
My God commands me to find myself. My one true self.

The un_ self. Not limited by degrees of strain and disease.
I know__ I sound full of something__ other than what I would think.
There is a mass of distractions_ all of life can be a noisy conundrum.
I am here now at this moment testing my trust,
in the wires of thought_ which describe this place.

What can it be?
I have let you down,
and you wonder_ who I think I am.
I am describing lines_ drawn at this moment, because I pass this way.
It has come to be a place_ that is now.
There is no other time for me.
I feel the width and depth of my chart.

Sailing on the sea of time.
The sailor views the storm, and still and steady_ as she goes.
Comes to places clearly drawn.
Heartily worn and warned by years of dimensional shifting.
Eventually the harbor of home appears.
The ship sails  into  safe harbor__

Home could be this place I have found.
I am not completely knowing I am here.
This has just been the entry_
I tried tonight_to find the key to my heart of words.

To say that I am done__ will never be.
Always holding hope and love_ here.
The sound of air passing over chords, or the strum of strings,
or the keys to the page.
The words fall_ in order to describe my place and reasons__
For caring, as I do.

I am an ordinary man__headed home on any day in time.
I am striving to hold the best_ in this heart of love.
A willing partner for our universe of thoughts.
Thoughts that hold this human life on earth__ sacred.

We are the design__ and the sanctity of our task is universal.
Life as we know it___ can circumscribe the wasted ways.
We can bring our hearts to bear.
Converse on love and hope and life in every way.
TRust the true center of your memory.

Right here__Right now__I see Jesus Christ.
I have chosen to not hold forth on why__
My life says that to me____
But all my experience says_ God wants me
To be me,
So go figure.

I love you… all.
That is why__ I figure.
You will understand_ my way.
I am only a little less ordinary.
This love God has for us__Is real.

So much hope for the future.
Choosing  love, and hope, and truth.
The light in the window prevails, and lightens the day.
As if one could see forever.
Truth, Trust, and Time.
Sublime Wonder Fullfilled.

9-11-2007+TR

Posted by trust the rust at 1:23 AM – 9 Comments   Add a Comment   
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