Just keeping it light. When I was back in Virginia, and that was a long time ago now, I was very much on another planet from my usual domain.
I am kind of like a lion living in a cave. I am wild and fierce, and I have the whole savannah to oversee and the pride is my charge, but when I am back in that other life_ I reach a nexus of everything I have given up. Today in the present is the serious life of carrying on with the tasks at hand, but when you go back, especially when it is to the time of your youth, when you were growing up all of the dreams and truths and lies, which are so evident and engraved on the stones and the trees and the floors and in the drawers of the past. Every door opens up to the suddenness of the broad successes and disappointments of the past and I would be the first to say that I am feeling a little distressed by the fact that I didn’t try to capture the great turn of
the trade that took place, when I was home.
When I was home, I got healed by my own acceptance of so much,that I was still carrying as a reason not to claim the beauty of what it is to be. My truth is my truth, and can anyone see what I see? You can see like me, but my attention is directed to points on the page that
I am being directed to recognize. My journey is my truth. Life is lived very close to the page.
And so we have little ol’ me going back to be the good son. It was designed to be this way. I have a mastery of certain illusions and I always make things like this into more than they might seem, because they are the real stuff of life. Familiar_ family holding the personal truths and changes as reasons to be_ together. I knew I would be here(in Virginia) in the fall. I was going to drive my parents up to Dad’s family reunion in Maine, but then the event was changed to Holyoke in western Massachusetts. All was still on go, until my
Aunt ‘P’ went into the coma(they had been with us the year before and had gone to Alaska on a cruise, and then my mom had the stoke, and my wife’s mom got cancer, but went on her trip to Alaska, anyway. It was a different kind of maturity we gained in this season of relative realities. I have to say, that modern tele-communications are a godsend and such a great aid to the support, one wants to be giving.
Dear Lord, our world was falling through a trapdoor, but then everything came into perspective. They got early support and help from the nearest children. We came in stages to move things along. I came at the optimal time for the skill set, that I have, which is probably pulling together all of the things that get glossed over. I am the oldest, but I am not the wisest as far as the business of the deals, but I have a very subtle way of working. I support the best ideas__ to give to the momentum__ of getting the job done. I do the finish and presentation_preparation, and we got their house up and ready for sale, and got it listed with their old friends at the realtor they worked for. A few years before, they would have sold it themselves, but there is just too much on Dad’s plate and Mom is very particular about, who she wants to sell it, too.
For the record, she just had a stroke and I hope she is only half as aware as she seems not to be. To lose her home is a very dire ending to all they have shared there. It is a crushing blow for Dad. He cried many times in the days that I was there, and he had been doing versions of this dance for almost two years. Mom has had two hip replacements and one knee replacement,in that time. Each surgery requiring the recovery cycle. Dad was burning the candle at both ends, just keeping up. Mom was on pain killers and doing physical therapy.I hope that she gets totally back to how she was before, but I know God has a plan, so I will no lose my hope and faith if things change.
So is this, a travel dialog? It is almost too unimaginigeable for me to try and get my sights around all that went down. I know you, who are really busy and have very busy lives__do this every day. One client/patient at a time. Not the right metaphor, but may I explain. I am hoping that those, who read this will know that I am not a writer of things they probably need to know, but I am a writer, who is learning to explain and understand the ways of his world and that is my truth.
I was a first responder to a family campaign. We were running for the election of the next best idea. What comes next?… and the obvious is never the whole deal. It is all of the details. So many issues and issuings from the body of the life that was being repackaged as a new and better path and amazingly enough, we, altogether, pulled it off and put together a solid path to the best position for our parents. We are a family, who has disparate parts. We, who are not very much there, as far as being really nearby. Close. How much have we done over the years?
My folks are an independant class. They were happy with our comings and goings. Eight children over twenty years and all that growing up. They had plenty to do, and they did it well. We are children of that independence. We stretch out across the country. All of us have our certain kind of success. The American dream is real. It just has to
be lived and believed. Mostly, I was long range supportive, and Christmas and summer solid. I got home every couple of years, but the
visits got further apart as my family grew, and we were so far away, but not that far. I have no regrets. I do, but I can’t go there. My method is to serve the plan that was laid.
Some of us even get back for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I did a time or two, but that is my fault as far as my life goes. I have always been gone, for the most part, but I have kept the kind of contact that has led me to be, who I have discovered is a pretty good guy and now that I am comng through, it is all good.
In other words I am winding down on this night. We are exercising the forces of nature that result from thinking about the path of a family. One in particular, that you know in a most personal way. I am writing out of the path that I have come to know. I am happy to be here.
And then I came on this ending that kept getting pushed along. Question is_ will I save it for what it might portend; In regards, to what I have been describing….What of myself, and others, who give more than they gain. I have always served the greater good or so I so humbly believed. I can only hope that, that, has been true. It was not always the case, but it is my nature to do for others__in the best and easiest way for them to receive my support. I don’t mean I am a great charity force. I just do for others, because I enjoy helping things along. We each have the need of a helping hand from time to time and
I don’t mean I won’t take pay to cover my expenses, but I rarely work
in the high profit slot.
The only explanation availible is that there were eight children, and
one, who had died, (who)have different claims. Have different issues with the past, and many reasons to see through to the end the best service for our parents, who are deserving of the best that we can give. They gave us so much. That it is not over-must not be foregotten. They are still here. It is just that their base will soon be gone and then this new life will have it’s way. How can I give them what it takes to make their way along the path of what lies ahead? I think they already know. You can’t take it with you.
Wrap. The truth is__ all things in balance…Life is good.I spoke to Mom and Pop, two days ago, and they were good, and Dad is swimming again, and Mom is recovering nicely, and doing her therapy, so life is solid and guarding faithfulness; By bringing my folks to a great place for their time ahead. Night,TR