Puzzling, How one sees for the first time. It is act of viewing without compromise. I am an intact actor on the stage. I take my cues and waite. When is my turn to shine? I want so much to realize a certain denouement of my affairs. The obvious answers to all of the questions.
When the release comes_ it is from the heart and the anvil speaks to the blind man with the ringing concussion of the obvious. The sublimity of times tortured path. The final relaxing moments of unrequited request.
I am home.
I thought_ simple. The idea was to review this heart striking time that came to play. I was home with my parents at the end of their time as it it had always been. There life was changing in the abrupt shifting of great change. There religion was_ to have lived a whole life heartily. In God.
They are pillars in their community, and they are getting to be somewhat_ odd with their age , but the love of the friends and family and their own points of view show, that they are past all review of what might have been. Nothing is wrong. It just_ all is. Perfectly.
The dependable age of real men and women , who brought this world to the state of possibility of what could have been. Their children have not grasped the vigor with which our parents attacked the evil in the world with the simplest and cleanest of remedies. Hard work and love for their fellowman. These people fought with their very lives to defeat and destroy an enemy which had every intention of destoying them__ to get what they wanted. That was no namby- pamby world . It was a world of serious reckonings.
We have moved into a world of hypocracy and double entendres.
It is the age of the kleptocracy and there is no love lost on the past. Everything is forged ahead for the advantage of being able to live above the fray at five star hotels and eat babies for breakfast_ for as long as they last.
When I cast this pall across my phase_ It is because I have deep questions that are not resolved by the parsed derision of the semantical overlords.
I want to drain the swamp of all of the degrees and find the truth at the bottom of the lake. I went home as a dangling participle and returned as a noun. A solid objectivfied domain of purpose . Contained within the definition of me are all of the parts of the plan I have for serving myself to the world.
The body of this life is always on view as an action that takes place as it happens to find itself. I am in all intention responding to the soul edifying flame. And so I wander in the vail and engage my life’s path. I want to come back to the moment that found me for this play. Where are we going on this night? I have waited late enough… to not have the time to go deeply. If only I wanted to be, otherwise. I wanted to be here tonight to bring together another foray__ into my visit__ back to ‘Virginiana’.
When last we spoke I was supped and well fed, or at least the memories afford me no less. I had visited with my 1st sister at the parent’s new place, along with her friend, while we watched videos of dancing and singing and birthdays and weddings, tack and so much of what one misses, when not at home.. They were there in Richmond for a storytellers seminar at some hotel near the university.
Then my closest sibling, my brother, just a year younger arrived from up north. He had his wife’s cell phone inquirees on void. She, one of my favorite sister-in-laws, was being treated to an attack back boy’s displeasure. He was reviling her displeasure. It was something about his avoiding more pressing family duties a hundred and thirty miles north. I have never known him to be so cruxed with his wife. It was odd, but none of my business.
In the meantime…We went to the old house and began the unfolding of our plan. The one_ to correct the course of some of the missteps to this point. Not that everyone doesn’t try to help out, but we are professional helpers__ of a world class accord. I do not say that lightly or think, that we know more. I just know that together… We understand better the patterns of life and the results that are needed to accord to the plan…A path. We are not God’s messengers, but we are ministers to his plans. And on the microcosm level of family, our family, we are the capacitors of assembly, and we will bring together the path and the package, and we will get the crusty old voyager on his way to a satisfying and satifactory result. We can see through all the loop back.
The tries…. to never leave, and make an enjoyable journey possible.
Mostly, It is about appreciating how easy it is to be hard and how it is so difficult to be kind. It takes patience and measured time and a way of breaking the course down into little bits. Our parents are old, but my dad is not. He still knows and believes that he is in total command, but he has waited the the edge of time, and wants the results, that would have been if they had had a plan. They will be comfortable, but there was always be more that could have been. Now it is about getting real in a kind way and helping our folks to get it done.
One thing about the children. All are very fine adults, now. We are all kicking in our best efforts to the life changing times of the recent events. I am so glad that I had this time to pay my dues. I love my folks, and I can honestly say… they have seen an array of life that few have appreciated more than they have. I would wish on everyone the opportunities and contact they have had with the world.
It is forever a better place …for their having lived so long, and on the order of it not being over…by any means. I only want to say thank you for listening. I am looking for the thread of this review. It is the way I have had to go to get to where I need to be. It is what it is.
As to the rest of that night at the great house, I would say brother and I pulled an all nighter and this on my second day of no sleep and no helpers.
I was running on pure adrenalin, as was he . Memories of when we were young, and he worked for Bekin Van Lines, and I worked with him… that one summer doing state department moves in DC. We pulled crazy hours getting_ somtimes….. the impossible done. Moving the entitled is no easy task. Our folks are old scouts and not on the audacious edge. They are easy and untroubled. They are seasoned veterans and world cruisers. Wish the world had more like them loosing the chains.
So for now – that is a hail and a hearty goodnight and I hope_ I have begun to understand just exactly why I keep ripping this old saw. I want to key in on the heart of the matter. I want to evolve from the beginning to the end, and I want to edify with dignity the true path …of just being honored to be a part of the parade. Going it alone_The natural way w/God , as my co-pilot.
Trust the Rust