No.24_Indubitable Paradox

, I am determined to look beyond the curtain.
Where else can I find the intuition to see my way?
Perhaps there is a door in the floor _over there!
I wonder, might I take a look at your chest ‘of drawers’.

As far as I can tell , we are alone, but I am distracted.
I must consider the children, when I speak about such things.
” I am a man of constant sorrows”, laying it out_ on the floor.
That might have been Miss J. Baez. Pish-Posh! Definitely is!

Nope, It is music from ‘Cadiz’, most definitely is, not from dream- time.
It is the totemic word structure of one of our great early century
singer song-writers.
Smugglers of faith and family and struggle. Covering the ground ahead
Mountain men coming down to the protracted wars of debt.

At the edge of the fiery lake, there is a cool wind, but
I am looking for the dark dreamy center.
‘Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker’
Give the tribe it’s voice_Wonderland_ would be…De-Lovely!
Another sweet trade of the tongue for the drum.
The still_ quick step beating of the inner drum.

Ka-bong, Ka-Bing, Ka-Boom, and Rat-a-tat-tat, too!
Where are you_ across the fleeting streets of time?
I am in here on the fleet side of the ‘Stream’.
In the underground grotto, by the falls.

Above me, I can see sky and endless waves of sea.
I think I am looking down,… either that, or I am upside down,
And looking through the well-side under.
At the bottom of the earth_In another season.
Far from this frozen earth. Our refrigerator Spring.

Still, no matter, my birth, my death, and my supplying ,
all came down to being here__Unprepared, actually…
For in every eventuality, there is a question_
What is going on here?__For Now…I am not distracted.

I am not subtracted, protracted, or even un-divided.
In addition to this first time opportunity, I am venturing_
Forthe,… Into the music of the spheres. Adventure!
Some do_Some don’t, but what the heck. Can’t let you go.
I hope you can_laugh with me.

It is not a fault of my own, that I think a worthwhile tone is told,
in time to lead these faculties to their intent. A breath mint_
Ssssmarts! Sssspells! Abounding! Sweet tarts_ telling tales!
Obnoxious overtones from the over-toad,…. swelling….

Better now, I stepped away and became another ‘verge’ on the edge. So…..
When I am here with you, I desire___ to suspend the pretention_
Of what was here, when last we met. I have no fear, no loss_
No suspension of belief in the resolute flower of this age.

The over-age of finally becoming the result of all these years.
The micro-proportioned tiers of pretention and lameness.
The wondering of what kind of pastry farts I’ll blow if I keep on trying to be a real proportion of the cake at hand.

‘MacArthur Park’ _ ol’friend_sing it_’Suspend & Breathe’_ ‘lightly’_
Feathering the moments of suspension,…Where?
Do I move forward thru this thick air….’No Pretend’
I am fathering my first flight. I am getting out of here!

This started with a prayer un-said…I came to the fountain and froze, again, but no!/know, I am on the edge of the beautiful flight of years running in sequence and serial _Us-ual-ity. Comprehend.
Usual – Is the right way_if you’ve done your home-work.
Works at Home_Practice! Is!

Customary, in accordance with the rules, the road ahead lies_
Forward of ‘Here and Now’…Let’s not Pretend…I am speaking
Thru the wig, that lays on my head. My hair-suit and skin.
I am thinking I am younger, than I am, I am daring life. Begin!

To go where I have not been before, eyes wide-open to the epic atmospheres_I chill my throat with words of soft lending.
I am not of here, and my now, was behind me, when I began.
Purpose being_I will do everything to get ‘at’ my personal fear.

Behind me, Satan, Get Thee, Behind me. I will not be blinded.
You had a hell of a roll, but your edge is no mender_ no Heart!
Relax, you won’t, but you won’t have me, anymore.
I am moving on-up the road. I am an original true desire, Now.

Where else can I be, but here. It was made for ‘me’.
Now, that I am in control….I have my edge and my view.
You came to say…It can happen…Here.
What would my wife say, if she heard me speak.

So before, I end,…before I can say, that is all. I am basically_
Sure_There is air in here and I am breathing. I ate tonight.
I rested over those snowy days, I worked in the garden, I talked on the phone, I went to work. I know I told myself_ I love my life, but I also had some negative thoughts, so why this here, these thoughts
now. Giving myself…a pass…I accept…’the edge of wonder’

Before I go, I wanted to relate a dream I had the other night.
Actually, it was a nap after work dream, and it was a flyer.
It is very complex, but in short_ I was flying a small single engine plane, from before modern day avionics and flight controls.

A between the wars ‘wing’ that was not modern in any way.
It was as if God had carved a plane out of a tree. Somehow the wind and my mind made it work. We took off in the storm and it rode into the sky, and in front of me was a small ‘boy’_by my feet. He had his hands on the controls. It was not a wheel or a stick. This was a password kind of thing…like what is the next thing to go wrong or how do I keep making the right choices. …’to keep this thing-up in the air’. Just trusting the way_It is. That was! IT!

The completed act of being here now, and then I realised the boy was me.
Crazy, but I thought the me, ‘I was’_ thinking ‘I was’, was
the one flying the plane. But let’s _not pretend.
I don’t fly planes, and ‘now in the dream’_ it was after dark and there was only wind holding us up. The forces of the darkening sky were forcing us_ about. There was a battle for control _in the sky. I could not hear a word of command, but then I wasn’t scared, and then I thought,
I saw the edge of the shelf, and my thoughts fell to the floor, and I woke.

Myself awake, I saw a way to spell the binding of fear. Let it go!
I am awake, and without forgetting, I am edging over__ into
‘What it is_ I came here to do’. So!


‘MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again
Oh, No! ‘
________________________________Jim Webb

3/31/08 TR

Posted by trust the rust at 2:17 AM – 6 Comments   Add a Comment   
Wednesday March 5, 2008
 Flying___Two Feet Off The Ground_No Engine Near!

‘Who knows where the time goes’-Fairport Convention’

Titled thusly at YouTube(Elfman101)

Lay down my head_ by the side of the road.
I am looking for a soft supply.
Wondering when I get to begin.
The now of this moment appears to be_
When I have arrived, and Then!

It began on the head of a pen.
The thrall and winding of the thread,
…. and the den of certitude.
I am dependable, yet I storm the traces of another time.
Encourage me to be the taking class of enemy.

I am the enmity of strong anti-casual suspension.
I know that there is a real victim here.
It is in_ All of our crimes.
Beginning with the lie.
The one, where you grieve_ for the lost halo.

I am a darkness on the other side.
I have a certain prescription to arrive.
It calls me here…I have arrived.
Trust the scraps that lay ahead.
The worth and value of cerebrating dread.

I am working through the long locus of said, ‘Suspension’.
By the commission of my hopeful origins,
I am commissioning upon the order of my night_ the wiser kind.
To look within the dread of not having been,
I can keep in thrice triplicate display the warrants_
Of my Dismay.

At work in my life is the final order of my time.
To be…I have come to finally be in my heart_ the one true me;
By actions equated _ drawn in lines from within my head.
I rise and fall not far from this earth,
Just running up this hill, and over there_ toward the light.

In this gallery of play_my small sacrifice is a gift.
The gift of life_ for paying back the wheel of Life.
Coming down in stride…I take my place on this earth.
I am a walking man, realizing the value of Time.

Coming alive I realize all that has been given Here.
The dream is alive. We are wonders in the Light.
There is more here, than what we can possibly ignore.
We love this life…I can realize the light within.
Bright strobe of forever ending glory_
Striding toward a world in peril.

I hope my interlude does not scare the pages off your screen,
but I am feeling the best kind of courage. It is calm.
I am sustained by this, and not far away_
… from where I sit, when I am at rest.
Has this been a spill or a spell?
I am not alone, but beyond request.

I commend my proposal of this simple life_ to the action,
… and the prayers of the one God-Almighty.
Ruler of the Universe of Love
Our Lord_ Jesus Christ.

I would be nothing without this thought_
… of finally finding the way to honor my commission.
I am a mostly not-perfected desire of the father.
A simple human man, who wants to challenge the expectation_
Of what is possible when _ you imagine all the love that is God channeled to the answering song of life_
Lived without Fear.

Loving the possibility of finding the one true Identity_
That is the life of Here.

So being brightly painted for my certainty.
I will now repair to my resting place,
… and resume the ordinary life.

My accepted self…so Real_ it squeaks!
This one extraordinary reason for being happy.
I accept how I have come to Be.
In all of the byways, there was always a single thread.
My equation is only a part of me.

By definition the purpose of the practice was the rudimentary
exile till the Presence of the Life was within.
I am alive in threes.
May the Peace of God Prevail Over All Misunderstanding.

Lights out. Rest is the Keeping of Life.
The Cycle of Days, and When?
Patience brings Grace. Grateful…This Life.
This Way…………..TR
Nowhere to hide from me.

Posted by trust the rust at 1:47 AM – 10 Comments   Add a Comment   

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