Gratitude… Don’t Ask.. He Cautions…

John, loved your brilliant thoughts…am thinking this all the same, at the same time. Go with me, I am not sure about the God you know, and the God I know, yet I think them brilliantly connected.

I am always trying, daily, in fact, to search beyond. I read, I absorb, and just sometimes, in a very small way I comprehend something very big, way beyond my comprehension. I catch it like a kiss on my cheek, and then it is gone. A love lost…a tool not ready for my hands.

You have a lot to offer in your insights, don’t lose sight, with our blindness, we are still listening and learning with wont.
bear hug,

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by n. lynn (PM , CC ) on Saturday March 15, 2008 @ 8:12 PM

Thanks, n.lynn. I like that kiss of comprehension image. Moments of clarity? Sometimes I have moments of surrender to confusion. There are numerous “I don’t knows” that introduce themselves at such times, and then I do know, but what I know is not anything like I expected to. That sounds crazy but it’s perfectly sane. Sometimes the answer must ask the question because we don’t know enough to ask the right one. We’re expecting something else entirely. There are the Mysteries about which knowing the answers makes them no less mysterious. Heaven is never closer to us than this moment. That will drive you nuts to think about it, but it’s true. The Kingdom of God is at hand. |<   <<   >>   >|

by John, the Squabbler (PM , CC ) on Saturday March 15, 2008 @ 9:24 PM

Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!……John,John,John. This is the man I know and love…just brilliant. You had me at hello. The voles…are making holes…I can’t fill in the roles…I’ve been. What am I doing when and where and what and who?????I know You…You are…Y-Y-U-U-U-O-O-Oops! _You are great.

I need to blow some hot air through my ears or maybe put on some ice. Ice,Ice,Baby. I will find the thread. Emergency, emergency!…Man on fire. What is going on here? I am looking for the chord. Beating the tread at the door. Turn that light on!…I can’t see. It is coming to me. Now_ What!

Getting back to all that …in all actuality, John, ol’Squabby-man,
you are not the issue. It is all about me. That’s what I’m doing.

Actual fact…that is a lie…I came here from watching the Chinese troops tear into the demonstrators in Lhasa,Tibet. Monks in their orange robes walking in the midst of fire. Living otherwise…outside of here.

In the many mansions of your house…there are everything and nothing. The fear of not actually having been. Reminded of this by your statement of how you felt when your Mom passed, and since then your path of ‘blazing lorries’…full of genuine art and blather …filling up treasure troves of expectations and pure sedan deliveries of your un-adulterated love for telling and teaching truth.

You are an amazing wonder of unsecluded values and vagaries. Sometimes unbelievably comic and reproving of the assortment of ridiculous ways we…most of us find the path to go through sitcoms and pizzas and fears: our debt to the life of what’s happening here? Life in general…life is passing for illusion. Our illusions are passing us by. What lives and breathes must continue to try.

You are not so different, but I do so love to feel the inner voice saying yes I am guilty of that…I will admit…I am filled with the noise of the lost and the lame and that’s a fact, Jack!, but, but, I am working my way back~Toward ‘perfection’, and the actual final sounds of life. Whisper the throat of life. Speak the words. Say it clear. What are we doing here? If not to emote on the proofs and the practice of the perfection of the unresolved clearly thought throat singings of our voice. How do I get out of here?
Unconcealable glee. You are a blazing path of duality.
Light and dark, hyeaven and heck…a darn fine example of the Renaissance man. Toot,toot.Wee!

I have no rules about who you are or who you will be and my sometimes and most actually, sometimes not plastic brain…I am the questioner of my own position, as we all are, and I now know that there is no fear in you, or me. I as a reader will never be dissappointed by your path-hand, and I fully expect and hope that you are writing the greatest fiction fact autobiographical mystery philosophical tome ever…that will bring us all back to the crack in the back that must be bridged to follow the source of the river to the other side of doubt. The marriage of wonder and breath. The bridging of hope and reversed expectations.

It is queer that I am just going off on this as though it mattered and that I had a personal agenda. Let’s call it a conversation. I just hope I can find the loop. Certainly the love of the unexpected and my undying attack at the fact that without you..Iwould neve have made it this far. So right-on and brights-on and let us meet again on this Plain of Severe Attraction.

What am I doing here? Trying to break through. Pull the sword from the stone. Untie the Gordian knot and just about anything I can do to find the way to strength and durability. Your bud,TR

‘M’s’ home from seeing Mom

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by trust the rust (PM , CC ) on Saturday March 15, 2008 @ 10:21 PM   (del)

I’m up early, letting the dogs out. See what you bring out in us, it’s scary, but oh so fun!

I started the C.S. Lewis book, and I will return to it.

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by n. lynn (PM , CC ) on Sunday March 16, 2008 @ 6:14 AM

“You know, loneliness wouldn’t be so bad except that it’s such a solitary occupation. No one can share it.”

I have a hunch you don’t need to share your loneliness. It may be we all have enough of our own.

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by Anexplorer (PM , CC ) on Sunday March 16, 2008 @ 7:32 AM

I was in an odd mood, n.lynn, and exploring obscurities, free associations, and such. I miss that lately, being too much in control.

That book will pay you a lifetime of dividends, by the way.

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by John, the Squabbler (PM , CC ) on Sunday March 16, 2008 @ 8:25 AM

Hi Anexplorer. So what shall we do with this surfeit of loneliness, this surplus of isolation? Perhaps a method can be devised. |<   <<   >>   >|

by John, the Squabbler (PM , CC ) on Sunday March 16, 2008 @ 1:05 PM

You’re in rare form, TR. I liked this one. It was personal. What a strange trip this has been. Who knew? A year ago I was starting that series on 12 Step stuff. Well – I think Easter came later. I’m not sure now. Dad was either here, or about to leave. It was warmer. Bloody hell – I’m still fighting with dock bubblers in mid March. Sitcoms and pizzas and fears… See, that’s why you’re a poet.

Phone’s ringing off the hook. I’ll be around.

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by John, the Squabbler (PM , CC ) on Sunday March 16, 2008 @ 1:37 PM

John, I love your name, by the way. I will use it again, John, I want you to know that I too am at a strange transitional moon, or mood. You and TR are going to be some of my most instrumental help in this change….though, there is no pressure. You don’t have to be of any help, becauce already, I have felt and have welcomed change.

My brother’s name is John, it was and is special.
Good Monday,

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by n. lynn (PM , CC ) on Sunday March 16, 2008 @ 7:30 PM

The treasures in this particular attic are those that formulate in your mind. One man’s treasure is always another mans trash, or in this case I should say selflessly interested woman’s trash.

After 2 years my Mom is with me always and yet I wish to pick up a phone and call her when I am in need of her advice, or willing ear to listen. She adored me, she listened even when I wasn’t making sense. Nothing ever replaces the solidity of actual being. Even the ethereal Mother of my mind, the one that has achieved perfection through lack of being. I miss her.


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by Sherry’sCherries (PM , CC ) on Sunday March 16, 2008 @ 7:34 PM

Thanks Sherry. That may be so. It’s good to have a body. I think having nothing more would be a drag. |<   <<   >>   >|

by John, the Squabbler (PM , CC ) on Monday March 17, 2008 @ 9:49 AM

Hi n.lynn. When I was young there was some question as to which John I was named for. I got the impression I could pick my favorite, John the Evangelist, or author of the gospel. Now we have discovered that it’s very likely John of Revelation is the same John. Oh a John by any other name… My Dad, also a John, used to say “Every Tom Dick and Harry is named John.” That’s not so much the case anymore. It’s a good name. I’m happy with it. |<   <<   >>   >|

by John, the Squabbler (PM , CC ) on Monday March 17, 2008 @ 9:55 AM

I – I am dropping by a blessing
R – Right from the bottom of my heart.
I – I trust that you will find
S – Strength for each moment and
H – Health for each day along the way!

June (some desert greenery for you to enjoy!)

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by Praywithhope (PM , CC ) on Monday March 17, 2008 @ 10:43 AM

Thanks June. Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Great pictures. I’m looking forward to seeing a little green here in the frozen North. |<   <<   >>   >|

by John, the Squabbler (PM , CC ) on Monday March 17, 2008 @ 11:37 AM

John, I have been sick for a few days and working and living, but not blogging, so I am a bit off on the placement of my apparatus, but wanted to check in and say Hi!, so it won’t be such a surprise, when I get back on and say something. Those governors in NY are sure full of surprises. Good to take a little heat off the candidates and the investors and their minions. I remember we were fighting a war somewhere and the Chinese are doing a take down in Tibet. Trying to keep their eggs all in one basket. This year is going to be one for the ages.
Gotta run. Thank you for your thoughtful message and I look forward to the next time. TR
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by trust the rust (PM , CC ) on Wednesday March 19, 2008 @ 2:07 AM   (del)

John, Dig it. I’ve been sick and I have been well, but not right now I am darn sick, but I am doing my best to have a good outlook and make it to work. It was also my birthday today, so I should feel better, but it can only be just so much better. We’ve put off any celebration, dinner and whatever to the weekend. The boys come over and we make happy and eat cake and sing off-tune. Glorious celebration of my birthday!
Yay! TR
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by trust the rust (PM , CC ) on Wednesday March 19, 2008 @ 2:12 AM   (del)

Happy Birthday, TR. Damn I hate sick. Stop that. |<   <<   >>   >|

by John, the Squabbler (PM , CC ) on Wednesday March 19, 2008 @ 6:03 AM

Hi TR. Sorry to hear you are unwell. Yes, the Governor/prostitute scandal created some of the best live radio I’ve heard in ages. Last week’s other notable piece of driftwood was Rev. Wright and Senator Obama, so it was a week for distance and distancing as I may have mentioned to POH in an earlier reply – and that inspired the title of this particular post. On the Senator/preacher story, which is the more interesting of the two, I had written a piece which I decided wasn’t White Lodge material. As you know, “topics” from current events are too temporal for the blog. But, out of it I have derived some phrases that you will read as the week progresses, and, as these sorts of things get sifted through the same spaghetti strainer as everything else does that I write about, you may recognize bits of it here n’there. One thing about was the rev is saying: that is exactly and precisely the world view that I was taught in college in ’79-’83, and I know that, if anything, the Academy has become even more infused with American self-loathing subjectivism in the years since. For that reason a “higher” education is to be avoided rather than sought except perhaps at a handful of colleges which (to listen to the Media) are to be despised and reviled. But, I suppose the best to which television News services can aspire is to be unintentionally funny – which is precisely the way the thing is being managed – so it has been an entertaining week when all is said and done.

One thing which I would strongly advise for people who follow presidential elections with too much invested in the outcome: Stop it. Remember that we are electing a president, not the Pope. Your personal fortunes do not depend on government in general, much less a single individual within it. Although a president has much power there is a greater power and it is you. When that fails you there is a power greater still and it is God. So – to those stressed-out people I say “Get a grip.” Vote based on principle and only principle, and turn the boob box off.

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by John, the Squabbler (PM , CC ) on Wednesday March 19, 2008 @ 6:30 AM

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